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Basketball caters to men blessed with God-given gifts that can only be contained by a Magnum. It contradicts our constitutional belief that all men are created equal and have a right to life, liberty and the pursuit of women 10 years younger and 10 times hotter.
The Oden pictures raise doubts about the legitimacy of the motion-in-the-ocean theory and the sincerity of women who claim there can be "too much of a good thang." Beth Slovic, a female sports writer in Oregon, asked Oden the million-dollar question: Why was he embarrassed by the pictures when women were impressed?
It’s a great question that points at the inconvenient truth.
This truth constitutes the foundation of the NFL’s popularity.
If you’ve been subjected to the distasteful, outrageous and enormous pictures of 7-foot and 10-plus-inches Greg Oden, then you now understand why there will never be an NBA Truths column.
A bitter ex-girlfriend disseminated on the Internet cellf-portraits of Oden — an all-Big Ten performer in 2007 — that graphically illustrate the often-injured Trail Blazers center belonged in the Big 12.
Oden thanked his sponsors Gold Bond Medicated Powder and Centrum Silver for their support throughout his professional career.
Reportedly Oden intends to begin collecting Social Security this year and plans to donate a portion of his income to several charities that serve the elderly.